Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Junior High Journal

Today, I pulled out my old journal from my junior high days. Hahaha! What a scream! Does anyone else remember feeling sooooo mature and wise back then? I am truly thankful to still have this journal in my possesion. I am horribly embarrased to still have it because my kids could blackmail me with some of the ridiculous things I have written in it! Still, it is such a good reminder of how far we've come and that we should be eternally grateful that our parents didn't kill us while they waited for us to pass this strange and unrational stage.

One of the things that has slowly faded away in my memory is how utterly obsessed I was with boys at that age! Good grief. Was I ever REALLY that silly? Apparently so, because there is page after page of rants about this boy, and rants about that one. Then confessions of love to one and questions about whether I still like him (only a week later). My first broken heart is recorded in this journal. A boy named John I met at camp. A week after camp, I decided he was just a fake and didn't really care about me. LOL!!!! Wow, I had invested a whole week into that kid! He took the best "days" of my life...not. Ha! Then, there was James. My very true friend and first real crush. His entries span three years. I asked myself, "Do I love him? Or is he more like the big brother I wished I'd had?" Either way, he was a huge encouragement to me and I admired him and his family. There was the boy I ended up "kneeing" for not keeping his hands off me while I was at my locker. I rationalized that he deserved it since I had been warning him since the beginning of the school year that I was not going to put up with it.

The thing that is so funny now, is that I remember thinking I was so grown up as I penned much of my life into that spiral notebook. Now, my husband and I are laughing hystarically at these "serious" journal entries.

I've decided it was good to read this, since my kids are now in this "strange" stage of life. I can be a little more gracious and understanding as I remember that we DO eventually grow up and turn out okay. I think instead of journaling about my life, I'll blog instead, so one day, when I'm sixty-five, I can once again look back and think... "Good grief! What was I thinking?"

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