Why do we write?

"First, I do not sit down at my desk to put into verse something that is already clear in my mind. If it were clear in my mind, I should have no incentive or need to write about it...we do not write in order to be understood; but we write in order to understand." - C. Day Lewis in Poetic Image



I can't count how many times I've needed to write things on paper so I can try to understand my true feelings about something. Sometimes, I sit back after reading my own penned words and think, "Hmm... so that's how I really feel." Other times, I chat with Daryl about what I wrote and ask for his input. Then, there are those times, I grab a lighter and quickly burn the evidence of my verbal vomit. What is it about the written word that seems to help the mind think clearer? I don't know. But, it is a tested method in my life.



I came across this quote by Lewis and felt like it was worth posting. What do you think? Write it out... I'd love to understand.

"Don't mistake technical ability for originality."

Do you ever get tired of singing the same songs over and over in church? Have you ever attempted to copy a painted picture or photo only to feel disappointment with the mediocre product? I sure have!



I heard this quote on a television program today... "Don't mistake technical ability for originality." A guy was complimenting his friend on some old paintings he had done in years past. The friend told him there was nothing great about the paintings since they were all just vain attempts to copy another genuise's work. That's sometimes how I feel as I listen to a song played on the radio for the um-teenth time in a week or sing the same worship song over and over as a congregation.



I crave time and inspiration to write my own songs! I long to sculpt my own pieces and paint my own originals on canvas! Not to replicate or distribute them in mass quantities. Just for the sheer, simple pleasure of being creative and even giving them away as an original gift with a singular recipient in mind. I don't understand this idea of mass production of an original. Just think of what could happen if we all saw that we had "originals" to offer.



I have technical abilities. Some of them are very well used and perfected. But... what I really want is to offer up atleast one original to the Creator of originality... just a sweet, unreplicated gift to Him.

Memory Collectors

Do you have any Memory Collectors in your family? I do. My mom and my father-in-law are our two greatest Memory Collectors. These are people who love to have a trinket for every memory they have. They often give these trinkets away in an effort to keep the memory alive. My husband, Daryl, has a couple of these gifts from my mom on his desk. One is an old truck sculpture in memory of a day we spent wandering the hills of Eastern Montana and came across an old pickup truck with the rusty keys still in the ignition. We also saw a snake that day, and I must say, I'm thankful she chose the truck instead of a snake statue to put on his desk! We just brought home several things last night from an old place that Daryl's great grandparents homesteaded. My father-in-law was so glad that we were interested in these old things and gave him ample opportunity to tell us stories...which we enjoy hearing all about. There was a Red Book Magazine from 1914, fishing rods that still had flies with them in the box, records that were ancient, and a scrapbook with brittle yellowed newspaper clippings in it.

I love Memory Collectors for their simple pleasure in knowing that everyone of these things could tell a little story if it could talk. Sometimes, a Memory Collector may be told that they need to get rid of all this "junk". True? Maybe, but the tough thing for a Memory Collector is that then all those trinketts that remind them of certain memories would be lost. Oh, what to do? It's a crazy circle! But, when there is time to sit and talk about the memories, we make more sweet memories and keep some old ones alive. I, too, tend to be a Memory Collector. Daryl is too! We've kept a few things from special memories, and then have joked that "we'll just take a picture of all the rest..."

The S->P->E->E->D-> of Life

Water pressure. I was thinking about it in the shower. I was trying to imagine how super long it would take to get clean after a sweaty workout without water pressure! The lack of convenient water pressure could be the reason a filthy cowboy would sit in a big tin tub in the olden days. Ya think? And the amount of time it would take to get clean? It would definately be a much slower process.


Lately, there have been a lot of things that have come to mind regarding how fast we can get things done. We drive like crazy people to get to our next destinations. We eat fast food so we can get on with our evening commitments. We have come up with all the modern convienences of the world to get things done more efficiently, such as dishwashers, washing machines and dryers, curling irons, cars, e-mails, airplanes, fax machines, bread machines, showers... oh, the list could go on! All to save time. But sometimes I feel like the world is passing by sooooo quickly!


My husband and I drive down Montana Ave in Billings often because we love the lights and the life that is there. Finally, last weekend, we parked the pick-up and walked around with all the other lingerers. There were amazing smells and live music and all sorts of people. It had a totally different feel than it did going the speed limit. I wish that we lived at the minimum speed more often than the MAXIMUM. Everything is a hurry. Even showers! I can honestly say, I don't want society to go back to the covered wagon days or anything, but I bet those people knew what a starry evening was like better than most of us. They HAD to notice the wild life around them because they were virtually at a stand still in comparison to the speed we pass by them.


So, God, will heaven be more like those "walk everywhere" kind of places or will we each be given a speedy craft to zoom anywhere a gazillion miles an hour? I think life sounds much more heavenly at a slower pace. Besides, if I do slow down during my days, I may actually have the time to stop and talk to someone who is in need instead of passing them by 65 miles an hour and wondering what their story is.

Well, gotta run... my son has a dentist appointment... (sigh...)

How sweet life is!

Today, Daryl and I went to the lake and had a picnic for lunch. We took a basket with cheese, meat, fruit, wine and cookies. After 17 years of being married, we've decided that we are enjoying life more all the time! I think so much of it is a new sense of freedom we feel. Freedom from too many schedules, freedom from unnecessary commitments, freedom from unessential rules and restrictions, and freedom from expectations. In real life there are schedules to keep, commitments to keep, rules and regulations that need to be followed and expectations that are normal. But... do you ever wonder how many things in our American culture and church culture are truly unnecessary? I have had more time to laugh with my kids lately and make silly plans to do crazy things together. I have had more time to just take a lunch break with my husband and eat a delicious meal while we dream about more future together. I have had more time to journal and talk to God while I learn more about who He is. I have basically had the time to stop and smell the roses... literally! (Thanks to the fact that Daryl brought me a rose just this morning...Aahh! How sweet!) Instead of striving to possess the Fruit of the Spirit in my life, I am finding that the more in love with Jesus I grow, the more the Fruit of the Spirit actually overflows from my heart without trying. Is this what God meant by walking in the Spirit? All I know is I have DONE less stuff to prove myself worthy, and BEEN more at rest and in love and out of that has bloomed a life of worship and joy that I have never experienced before. This all sounds a little deep, but I feel like I'm still sorting some of it out in my head. It is deep! It's.... well, AWESOME!!!

Eight is NOT Enough... is it?

I just realized the other day that God waited 100 years for Noah to build the ark...only to save EIGHT people in the end. EIGHT!!! The reason this seems significant to me is in light of what I was thinking about yesterday. We are all about results and performance as people. We generally run life like a business. If we aren't getting the results we think, we cut the funding, by George! But, God doesn't work that way. The thing that blows my mind about this story of Noah is that God already knew how many were going to be getting on. It wasn't like the day of the flood came and God sat there and scratched his head saying, "Oh rats! I had you make this ark ginormous, Noah, and look. Nobody is showing up. What a waste of time!" Nope. He told him to build the ark, waited patiently, and allowed eight little people to board. Now that's kindness. I think this strikes me as kindness because God's not into showing off his most recent stats. He's into loving people. That's the way it was from the beginning and the way it is now. EIGHT people saved in a hundred years time... Wow! Not a good return on His investment. Or maybe again...it was a great return!

So...what's my life "suppose" to look like?

Do you ever do things because "that's what THEY say"? Who are THEY? And how do they know? I think one of the loudest places these people yell is in the church circles. As a girl who grew up in the church (weird phrase, huh?) I feel a great many of these voices hollaring at me. They say things like, "You should help with that program," or "Why did God give you talents unless they are to be used for His glory" or "You can do MORE because you can do all things through Christ". But lately I've been wondering if these comments are in complete contradiction to what Jesus himself is actually saying. He said "Come to me all you who are weary and heavy hearted, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you .... for my load is light" Wow! Is his load really all that light? Why hasn't it seemed that way in the past? I'm beginning to think it's because it's not HIS yoke I've been putting on. It's THEIR yoke. Those THEYS in my life. Who are they to tell me how to live my life? They didn't make me. They don't have a plan for my life. They don't have my days numbered. But I know the truth about the One who does. I've decided today, that I really, I mean REALLY, don't want to live to please anyone except Him. I am talking about Jesus. Obviously, it doesn't mean my husband won't feel loved, or that my kids will feel abandoned or that my friends will never hear from me again because I'm so busy lovin' my Jesus. I think what will happen is actually just the opposite as what "they" say. I think I will enjoy loving my husband even more, and I'll take the time to show affection to my kids, and want to be a better friend, just because it's an outflowing of loving Him. It seems way more simple that way! How exausting it has been trying to please everyone of those voices in my head. I am gonna live for the audience of One and try it out instead.