We are sooooo deceived!

I absolutely hate politics. And I'm half afraid to write this for fear it will sound political and incorrect, but.......

I was listening to "The View" this morning while getting ready. They talked about Sarah Palin and her son, Tryg, and how she chose to keep him even though she knew he had downs syndrom. They went on to say that 9 out of 10 women who find out that their baby has downs, abort them!!! Whoopie Goldberg later commented that "No one has the right to judge you when you have to make those tough decisions. They haven't walked in your shoes, so they don't know how tough that decision is." WHAT?

No one has the right to judge? I felt sooooooo sad that we are so blind to the fact that there is a God. He is loving. He is patient. He is kind.... and holy and JUST! God has the right to judge us! And we are horribly deceived if we think other wise.

The thing that took me back next was that they went to commercial break and there was a sweet little Santa Claus commercial with a little girl taking her letter to Santa at a Macy's store. Then the words like, "What kind of world would it be if there was no Santa?" WHAT?

We HOPE there's a Santa because it makes us feel happy and dillusional! But we ignore that there is an awesome God that DOES give HOPE! Real hope. I'm fully aware that this blog may sound like "fire and brimstone" talk. I truly believe in the grace of God!!! One, because the bible teaches it as truth. And two, because I've received and experienced it for myself.

I do know for sure that I definitely don't have the right to judge anyone! Whether it's a woman having an abortion, or a man stealing from a bank. But if we don't choose God to be our Lord, than we have chosen him to be judge, because we each will stand before him. Whether we choose to stand before calling him FATHER or JUDGE is up to us.

But to answer that question, Whoopie... Who has the "right" to judge? God. He alone.

"It is a terrifiying thing to fall into the hands of a living God." Hebrews 10:31 But, Amen to the fact that the bible also says, "Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered." Psalm 32:1

(If anyone stumbles onto this blog and you've been someone who has had an abortion, please know that I am not playing judge toward you. That isn't what this is about. I don't feel mad at Whoopie for asking the question. I don't love to think about God being judge. Actually, I hate it. It makes me super sad. But I do know He forgives you and LOVES you more than anything! But, I'm so sorry that we are such a deceived people to think that there will not be a day when justice will come. Get freed from the guilt and forgiven on THIS side of eternity. If you only knew all the crap Jesus has forgiven of mine, you would know, without a doubt that there is no way I could ever play judge of anyone. I'm just so thankful to know that because of Jesus wiping away my sin with his payment, I don't have to be terrified of God. He is my heavenly Father... and I LOVE that!)

blah blah blah blah BLAH!

I am someone who has a tough time using FEW words. I can go on and on and on..... Just ask my teenage son who informed me while he was driving with his permit a couple months ago, "Mom, can we please not talk about this while I'm driving 'cuz you just keep going on and on about it." Now, if you know Tate, he said this with as much grace and patience as possible and was not disrespectful in the way he said it, but I could clearly understand his feelings since I, too, sometimes think, "Good grief, Candi, give it up already and shut up!!!"
The other day, my sister in law said something that felt very profound to me. She said, "God never lectures. He uses very few words to say stuff." True, true!
"Let there be light!"
"Be strong and courageous."
"Peace, be still."
"Follow me."
The times when God has spoken to my heart it usually IS just something right to the point, but VERY profound. One of my favorite quotes is, MORE ISN'T BETTER, SOMETIMES IT'S JUST MORE. Now, why can't I learn that about my words?!? I love this about God. He is a get-to-the-point kind of communicator. I love that he doesn't beat around the bush when he admonishes or encourages. He isn't the strong silent type that can't say, "I love you". He doesn't get on a tangent when we screw up for the 200th time that week. He doesn't expect us to read his mind. He just simple says it.
I hope the older I get, the less I talk and the better I listen. Blah, blah, blah, blah... how else can I ramble on about this? Okay, shutting up. (...sigh...)

Perfection

There is a war that is waged in me often. The war of wanting to be perfect versus getting things done to a respectable point. I came across a page in my journal that I wrote as I was thinking about this one day. It looks like this...



Perfection vs. "do something"

• clean the entire house in a day OR just pick up


• laundry perfectly done OR do a load or two whenever


• get ready for my marathon OR work out and feel good about it


• iron and hang all clothes OR do a few shirts


• make a gourmet meal from scratch or cook a Schwan's dinner :)


• get involved in "major" church ministry OR serve somewhere well


• get to ideal weight goal OR start getting healthy


• special "controlled" time with my kids OR enjoy a shared moment


• perfect art piece made OR experiment in art without expectation


• study to fully understand OR enjoy learning


• read an entire book series OR take in what you can bits at a time


• write everyone's Christmas card before sending OR get a few out

So, here's a quote by Winston Churchill I came across tonight. This is powerful!

The maxim "Nothing but perfection" may be spelled PARALYSIS

When I am trying so hard to be perfect, do perfect, expect perfect, it doesn't cause a spirit to thrive, but instead to become paralized. It keeps me from stepping out and trying things. Edith Schaeffer once said, "People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it."

Lately, whether with my art, my music, my house, my laundry, yes, my laundry... I have been trying not to focus on perfection. It's exhausting! I have been reminding myself that God alone is perfect. And there's a verse that says, "God knows I am but dust..." so I will choose to enjoy the beautiful world he has made and all the imperfect people in it. I am just starting to learn this. And I will never learn it PERFECTLY, and that's okay. It's a joy to begin the journey of freedom that comes with this new understanding.

New Pants or Three Donuts

This is such a girly post but... I've lost a fair amount of weight over the last months. Some from lifestyle changes and exercise, but also from a bad bout with the flu. My dilema? My pants don't fit anymore. I don't have the money right now to go out and buy a half dozen pairs of pants. What's a girl to do? I ate 3 donuts today! I KNOW! Three! When my husband asked about it, I told him, "It's cheaper to buy three donuts than new pants!"

A Shout Out to my Sister, Cathi!

I know that my sister will blush as soon as she reads this blog, but I think it's only right I get to brag on my younger sister atleast every once in a while. My sister, Cathi, is about nine years younger, but it has never really felt like that many years to me. Maybe we feel closer because she came to school with me as my show-and-tell once, or because we slept in the same bed until I moved out in college, or maybe because we read stories together and sang together and baked together. My sister is one of my favorite people in the world!

What makes her remarkable is her ability to inspire through her thoughts and conversation. She takes notice of the simplest of God's creations, and she has a kind Spirit....named Jesus, who lives through her, touching those around her. Cathi has the heart of a servant. She is the kind of girl who would make you a beautiful, hand-designed card with a sweet thought just for you, to encourage you. She's the kind of girl who would bake you homemade scones and serve them with a pretty tea cup filled with hot tea, all while relaxing music plays in the background. She's the kind of girl who would send you a letter enclosed by a homemade envelope with some romantic scenery on it. Okay, okay... at this point, she would be saying, "I'm not perfect though..." Ya, I know. Nobody is. But, there are so many things that makes her special. I know she is this kind of girl, because she has done all of these and much more for me.

Cathi has lavisheed me with unconditional love and grace and friendship. We've laughed so hard my sides have hurt the next day. She has been a partner in the journey of parenting. She's been the duet to my song. The flower in my garden... okay, that one was even to dorky for me! LOL! But, really... how do you put into words that someone is awesome?!

Cathi...your life inspires me! I love you for who you are, not just the things you do. Thank you for always being my friend. Your friendship is priceless. You're beautiful inside and out! I am blessed to call you my sister!!!

Clock...the ruler of time

Imagine...
...if there were no clocks in the world. Alarms wouldn't jolt us out of bed. School bells wouldn't announce that we were late. Work would be done when work was done instead of when the clock tells us "it's five ' o clock". Meetings would happen once everyone was there. We wouldn't be staring at the clock all the time fretting about what we need to get to next. I've decided I hate time. I know, I know, it's part of what keeps order in our "civilized" country. But isn't it awesome to think that in heaven, there is no time? I don't think it's a coincidence that we fight it. We weren't made to live within its confines. Our friends that live in Africa said that one of the toughest things to get used to at first was "African Time"... which meant... whenever it happens, it happens. I wonder if we have grown addicted to it here in America. We act like life would not work without a clock and yet... people lived without them for thousands of years. Hmm..... just thinkin'.

Why do we write?

"First, I do not sit down at my desk to put into verse something that is already clear in my mind. If it were clear in my mind, I should have no incentive or need to write about it...we do not write in order to be understood; but we write in order to understand." - C. Day Lewis in Poetic Image



I can't count how many times I've needed to write things on paper so I can try to understand my true feelings about something. Sometimes, I sit back after reading my own penned words and think, "Hmm... so that's how I really feel." Other times, I chat with Daryl about what I wrote and ask for his input. Then, there are those times, I grab a lighter and quickly burn the evidence of my verbal vomit. What is it about the written word that seems to help the mind think clearer? I don't know. But, it is a tested method in my life.



I came across this quote by Lewis and felt like it was worth posting. What do you think? Write it out... I'd love to understand.

"Don't mistake technical ability for originality."

Do you ever get tired of singing the same songs over and over in church? Have you ever attempted to copy a painted picture or photo only to feel disappointment with the mediocre product? I sure have!



I heard this quote on a television program today... "Don't mistake technical ability for originality." A guy was complimenting his friend on some old paintings he had done in years past. The friend told him there was nothing great about the paintings since they were all just vain attempts to copy another genuise's work. That's sometimes how I feel as I listen to a song played on the radio for the um-teenth time in a week or sing the same worship song over and over as a congregation.



I crave time and inspiration to write my own songs! I long to sculpt my own pieces and paint my own originals on canvas! Not to replicate or distribute them in mass quantities. Just for the sheer, simple pleasure of being creative and even giving them away as an original gift with a singular recipient in mind. I don't understand this idea of mass production of an original. Just think of what could happen if we all saw that we had "originals" to offer.



I have technical abilities. Some of them are very well used and perfected. But... what I really want is to offer up atleast one original to the Creator of originality... just a sweet, unreplicated gift to Him.

Memory Collectors

Do you have any Memory Collectors in your family? I do. My mom and my father-in-law are our two greatest Memory Collectors. These are people who love to have a trinket for every memory they have. They often give these trinkets away in an effort to keep the memory alive. My husband, Daryl, has a couple of these gifts from my mom on his desk. One is an old truck sculpture in memory of a day we spent wandering the hills of Eastern Montana and came across an old pickup truck with the rusty keys still in the ignition. We also saw a snake that day, and I must say, I'm thankful she chose the truck instead of a snake statue to put on his desk! We just brought home several things last night from an old place that Daryl's great grandparents homesteaded. My father-in-law was so glad that we were interested in these old things and gave him ample opportunity to tell us stories...which we enjoy hearing all about. There was a Red Book Magazine from 1914, fishing rods that still had flies with them in the box, records that were ancient, and a scrapbook with brittle yellowed newspaper clippings in it.

I love Memory Collectors for their simple pleasure in knowing that everyone of these things could tell a little story if it could talk. Sometimes, a Memory Collector may be told that they need to get rid of all this "junk". True? Maybe, but the tough thing for a Memory Collector is that then all those trinketts that remind them of certain memories would be lost. Oh, what to do? It's a crazy circle! But, when there is time to sit and talk about the memories, we make more sweet memories and keep some old ones alive. I, too, tend to be a Memory Collector. Daryl is too! We've kept a few things from special memories, and then have joked that "we'll just take a picture of all the rest..."

The S->P->E->E->D-> of Life

Water pressure. I was thinking about it in the shower. I was trying to imagine how super long it would take to get clean after a sweaty workout without water pressure! The lack of convenient water pressure could be the reason a filthy cowboy would sit in a big tin tub in the olden days. Ya think? And the amount of time it would take to get clean? It would definately be a much slower process.


Lately, there have been a lot of things that have come to mind regarding how fast we can get things done. We drive like crazy people to get to our next destinations. We eat fast food so we can get on with our evening commitments. We have come up with all the modern convienences of the world to get things done more efficiently, such as dishwashers, washing machines and dryers, curling irons, cars, e-mails, airplanes, fax machines, bread machines, showers... oh, the list could go on! All to save time. But sometimes I feel like the world is passing by sooooo quickly!


My husband and I drive down Montana Ave in Billings often because we love the lights and the life that is there. Finally, last weekend, we parked the pick-up and walked around with all the other lingerers. There were amazing smells and live music and all sorts of people. It had a totally different feel than it did going the speed limit. I wish that we lived at the minimum speed more often than the MAXIMUM. Everything is a hurry. Even showers! I can honestly say, I don't want society to go back to the covered wagon days or anything, but I bet those people knew what a starry evening was like better than most of us. They HAD to notice the wild life around them because they were virtually at a stand still in comparison to the speed we pass by them.


So, God, will heaven be more like those "walk everywhere" kind of places or will we each be given a speedy craft to zoom anywhere a gazillion miles an hour? I think life sounds much more heavenly at a slower pace. Besides, if I do slow down during my days, I may actually have the time to stop and talk to someone who is in need instead of passing them by 65 miles an hour and wondering what their story is.

Well, gotta run... my son has a dentist appointment... (sigh...)

How sweet life is!

Today, Daryl and I went to the lake and had a picnic for lunch. We took a basket with cheese, meat, fruit, wine and cookies. After 17 years of being married, we've decided that we are enjoying life more all the time! I think so much of it is a new sense of freedom we feel. Freedom from too many schedules, freedom from unnecessary commitments, freedom from unessential rules and restrictions, and freedom from expectations. In real life there are schedules to keep, commitments to keep, rules and regulations that need to be followed and expectations that are normal. But... do you ever wonder how many things in our American culture and church culture are truly unnecessary? I have had more time to laugh with my kids lately and make silly plans to do crazy things together. I have had more time to just take a lunch break with my husband and eat a delicious meal while we dream about more future together. I have had more time to journal and talk to God while I learn more about who He is. I have basically had the time to stop and smell the roses... literally! (Thanks to the fact that Daryl brought me a rose just this morning...Aahh! How sweet!) Instead of striving to possess the Fruit of the Spirit in my life, I am finding that the more in love with Jesus I grow, the more the Fruit of the Spirit actually overflows from my heart without trying. Is this what God meant by walking in the Spirit? All I know is I have DONE less stuff to prove myself worthy, and BEEN more at rest and in love and out of that has bloomed a life of worship and joy that I have never experienced before. This all sounds a little deep, but I feel like I'm still sorting some of it out in my head. It is deep! It's.... well, AWESOME!!!

Eight is NOT Enough... is it?

I just realized the other day that God waited 100 years for Noah to build the ark...only to save EIGHT people in the end. EIGHT!!! The reason this seems significant to me is in light of what I was thinking about yesterday. We are all about results and performance as people. We generally run life like a business. If we aren't getting the results we think, we cut the funding, by George! But, God doesn't work that way. The thing that blows my mind about this story of Noah is that God already knew how many were going to be getting on. It wasn't like the day of the flood came and God sat there and scratched his head saying, "Oh rats! I had you make this ark ginormous, Noah, and look. Nobody is showing up. What a waste of time!" Nope. He told him to build the ark, waited patiently, and allowed eight little people to board. Now that's kindness. I think this strikes me as kindness because God's not into showing off his most recent stats. He's into loving people. That's the way it was from the beginning and the way it is now. EIGHT people saved in a hundred years time... Wow! Not a good return on His investment. Or maybe again...it was a great return!

So...what's my life "suppose" to look like?

Do you ever do things because "that's what THEY say"? Who are THEY? And how do they know? I think one of the loudest places these people yell is in the church circles. As a girl who grew up in the church (weird phrase, huh?) I feel a great many of these voices hollaring at me. They say things like, "You should help with that program," or "Why did God give you talents unless they are to be used for His glory" or "You can do MORE because you can do all things through Christ". But lately I've been wondering if these comments are in complete contradiction to what Jesus himself is actually saying. He said "Come to me all you who are weary and heavy hearted, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you .... for my load is light" Wow! Is his load really all that light? Why hasn't it seemed that way in the past? I'm beginning to think it's because it's not HIS yoke I've been putting on. It's THEIR yoke. Those THEYS in my life. Who are they to tell me how to live my life? They didn't make me. They don't have a plan for my life. They don't have my days numbered. But I know the truth about the One who does. I've decided today, that I really, I mean REALLY, don't want to live to please anyone except Him. I am talking about Jesus. Obviously, it doesn't mean my husband won't feel loved, or that my kids will feel abandoned or that my friends will never hear from me again because I'm so busy lovin' my Jesus. I think what will happen is actually just the opposite as what "they" say. I think I will enjoy loving my husband even more, and I'll take the time to show affection to my kids, and want to be a better friend, just because it's an outflowing of loving Him. It seems way more simple that way! How exausting it has been trying to please everyone of those voices in my head. I am gonna live for the audience of One and try it out instead.

Writing to No One...hmmm...

I love to talk. Talk to friends and family. I love to listen. Listen to people's stories. And I love to write. Write letters or write in my journal. The idea of writing to "nobody" in particular is a little strange. Hmmm.... Ironically, there are a few blogs that read on a regular basis. I am a nobody to these bloggers, but I find pleasure in hearing their take on everyday life. Then, there is my sister's blog. She is definately "somebody" that I want to share blogs with. I enjoy reading about my nephew and niece. So, I decided to enter the ever-growing world of bloggers and splatter my thoughts on my computer screen. So hello Cath and any "no ones" that wonder into my blog. Now, I need to go do some living so I have something to write about!!!